We were designed as mortals
so that we can be recyclable
so that our molecules can be free
to mingle again
reincarnate again and again
So we created Earth’s most durable species ever:
the plastic toilet seat.
This being can live up to 250,000 years
composed of carbon molecules
just like us,
but trapped forever in a polymer prison
they will never mingle
they will never become trees
or other mortal things
This pinnacle of evolution
comes with a planet lifetime warranty
needs nothing to keep it alive
It just sits there,
Long after the butts that kept it warm have disappeared
Outlasting the existence of shit itself,
but not even able to shit itself.
Outlasting the existence of life.
George is an author, researcher, podcaster, chemist, molecular biologist and food scientist. You can follow him on Twitter @99blackbaloons , listen to his Spotify podcast George reads George, join his mailing list, or enjoy his books