Self Destruction: The Final Chapter

An unintended side-effect.  It usually lurks like a disease, fully detectable, yet ignorable enough to be able to continue its slow, destructive advance.  Self-destruction follows a lazy, incremental progression that allows it to fool its victim’s senses and gradually build its crescendo under the cover of night.  Although it advances slow enough to give the impression that there is plenty of time, its direction of travel is consistent, and irreversible.  The victim at any given moment will feel that they are walking, but in fact they are walking and falling at the same time.  If anything, self-destruction brings about a self-fulfilling euphoria: “living like there is no tomorrow” begins as a philosophical outlook on life, but it eventually becomes a prophecy.

It’s not that there aren’t any warning signs along the way.  Sure, there are plenty.  But they are usually reduced to mere flashing orange traffic lights that one always has the option to speed through.  Self-destruction is the most difficult destruction to stop, exactly because it is not perpetrated by an outside enemy.  It is perpetrated by the self.  It will therefore take an unusually strong person to be able to stand up to…themselves, just like a drug addict lacking the strength to look into the mirror and see the person that they could have been without their addiction.  And so, in most cases self-destruction will continue unabated, even as the warning signs become starker, bigger, louder.  In their attempt to deny their powerlessness, the addict will often embrace their fate and even claim that they chose this, that they could have easily turned the corner, but they just didn’t want to.  Defeatism at its best is defeatism that is combined with denial.  It is when you have successfully convinced yourself that you consciously chose all these bad things to happen to you, because none of them could have been avoided in the first place.  You consciously chose to die from heroin within the next 3 months not because you were too lazy to discover self-respect, but because it was going to happen anyway.  You consciously chose to fuck up Earth and its 8 million species, including your own, not because you couldn’t be bothered to assume the responsibilities you have towards Nature, but because it was going to happen anyway.  Self-destruction was the only option that was ever on the table for you, and it was all part of a plan, the plan of a lazy coward.  Why fix the world when you can just wait for it to burn, then start itself all over again?

(from the upcoming “Little Book of Doom”)

George is an author, researcher, podcast host, chemist, molecular biologist and food scientist. You can follow him on Twitter @99blackbaloons , listen to his Spotify podcast George reads George, sign up for blog alerts below, or enjoy his books

2 thoughts on “Self Destruction: The Final Chapter

  1. It is perpetrated by what I call the ego. The real self is connected to everything but the ego is winning as long as it is not recognized and if not destroyed, tamed at least.

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