Out Of Business

Nature used to be an all-you-can-eat buffet, with inexhaustible resources available to every species on the planet.  The food cycle constantly regenerated with each rotation around the sun, much like sushi on a rotating conveyor belt.  Humans and all the other species enjoyed this free buffet of nature for thousands of years, sometimes eating each other in the process.  But humans were unique: they were that one, super obese customer you always see in an all-you-can-eat restaurant or hotel breakfast buffet who gets up every ten minutes to refill their plate.  They just kept eating, and they simply didn’t know when or how to stop.  

At first, this behavior was OK: the restaurant could still cover its costs of operation, as it was just one super fat customer putting a slight dent on its bottom line.  But then one day, 8 billion of them turned up.  The greedy fatties managed to put the restaurant out of business, leaving all other customers to starve to extinction.  As if this wasn’t enough, supply chain issues, wars, staffing shortages and pandemics prevented any good restaurants from opening up.  Well, that’s the end of the story folks.  It all ended with a loud, foul-smelling burp that sent shockwaves throughout the planet and demolished pretty much anything that had remained standing.

(from the upcoming “Little Book of Doom”)

George is an author, researcher, podcast host, chemist, molecular biologist and food scientist. You can follow him on Twitter @99blackbaloons , listen to his Spotify podcast George reads George, sign up for blog alerts below, or enjoy his books

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