In her book and interviews, Trump’s niece Mary Trump talks about how Donald Trump’s narcissism is deeply rooted in an inferiority complex and childhood trauma that he has never managed to recover from. Young Donald Trump was raised by a father with zero empathy, and who used everyone in his surroundings, including his children, for his own benefit. The values that young Donald learned growing up were very different from the average family where love exists to some extent, giving children a sense of safety and a cushion, and a belief that the world, overall, is a good place. Instead, the message that Donald internalised from his environment was that the world is cruel, and that you have to fight for yourself no matter what: even if it means cheating to build a business empire, lying about your taxes to avoid jail, and constantly finding ways to manipulate and use others, with the ultimate goal of serving your own personal interests.
The reason Trump has been repeatedly portrayed in the media as a baby was exactly because he is still one: never grown out of his incredible insecurity as most children do, as they grow up and learn to depend on their own devices. Instead, Trump learned to veil his insecurity both from the world and from himself by a theatre of narcissism and super-macho arrogance that has been perfected to such an art form that he has even fooled himself at times: that he is a great businessman, leader and politician. That he even is a person of empathy. He is not any of the above by the way, just in case you have been fooled as well.
His desperate attempts to allege fraud on election night may have been a shock to the world as a “next-level Trump” move, but for Trump, it was just another normal day in his cruel, unforgiving childhood world. It was another page from his go-to playbook, his only defence strategy when things get rough: accept no responsibility, make up facts as you go along, and deflect attention. Trump is incredibly smart and talented in communications, he just happened to grow up as a damaged child. His point-blanc perception of voters’ trigger points was recruited to serve his manipulating messaging, while his vivid imagination has allowed him to devise risky but brilliant schemes that served his narcissistic coping strategies. Let’s face it. An asshole like Trump could only have become president if he was an excellent conman. Excellent enough to continue, to this day, to con 48% of the country, twice in 4 years. So let’s give him that.
Any new president that followed Donald Trump of course would look like a normal human when compared to his/her predecessor. But there is a very timely, very fitting contrast with Joe Biden: someone who has lost a son, someone who has worked in public service most of his life. Someone who knows what it is like to lose a presidential race and move on, lose a son and move on. Someone who has learned that falling and losing are part of life, just like a child needs to fall while learning to walk.
A sore loser is someone who has never really processed loss or, processed it the wrong way. Someone who refuses to accept it, and needs to find someone to blame. Instead of growing up to become an individual who grows from trauma and becomes a stronger and more compassionate person, they develop into someone who chooses to become the traumatizer.